Friday 5th June 2015
I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. I remembered my wife once saying she knew I was stressed when my ponytail was undone. I gathered my long fair hair together and secured it with the small elastic loop I’d put in my pocket. When I turned the key and went inside, my heart was racing. I walked into the living room to see Heather switch off the movie she was watching.
She turned towards me. “It’s only midnight, Danny. I thought you might have been later.”
I shook my head. “I lost again, and the guys told me they wouldn’t let me write IOUs.”
“Well, at least they’ve got some decency, there are plenty of people who would take everything you had and still let you write a note to owe them more.” She slowly shook her head. “What will it take for you to learn—you’re addicted to something that is costing us a lot of money?”
“The blokes I play with every week are my friends.”
“Danny, friendships are tenuous when it comes to being owed money. I don’t have to take part to know that when it comes to gambling of any description, a person can get a bit carried away. Every little hint that you might win will keep you going.”
“I know, but it’s hard to stop.”
“You’ve cost us a lot of money, Danny, and I’m not having any more of it. We’re both off work on Tuesday, and we’re going to the bank and the solicitor’s office.”
“What for?”
“I asked you to see a therapist, and you went three times which is no good. I will not see our earnings, our home and our belongings gambled away by your bloody sickness.”
“You can secure your money, I want access to my wages, even if we have separate accounts.”
“If that’s what it takes then that’s what we’ll do.”
“You don’t understand, Heather.”
“Danny, I understand only too well, my love—it’s you who doesn’t understand. We’ve only been married two years, and I am so grateful we don’t have kids.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“It means that as much as it would hurt me, we could part company without the pain that it would cause a young family.”
“Surely you wouldn’t leave me?”
“No, my darling, I wouldn’t leave you, I’d kick you out of my home and my life first.”
“I’ll leave you to your movie, I can’t think of anything else, except to apologise.”
“Well, if it’s to do with your gambling, your apologies are meaningless. Goodnight.”
I knew that somewhere in what she said, Heather probably had a point, but it was so hard to stop. When I went up to the bed, I was still thinking that I got close to winning so often. I didn’t go to bed thinking about us possibly splitting up, I lay there for a while thinking about having a good win.
*
Saturday 6th June
I was in the dining room sitting at the table with my laptop open when I heard a creak on the stairs. I went to my browsing history to choose a different website, but the damn machine was too slow. I minimised screen just as Heather walked into the room.
“I’m going into town, Danny, is there anything you … what is that you’re writing?”
I nodded to the screen towards my deception plan. “I was thinking about what you said last night, and I’m listing the things that can be affected by gambling.”
Heather leant forward and scrolled up the screen. I hoped she wouldn’t accidentally move the cursor to my browsing history or my minimised link. To me, it stood out in my line of icons.
I said, “What are you doing?”
“I want to see what you hold, dear.” She read from my list. “Cash, car, home, job.” Heather turned to me and slowly shook her head. “I think you ought to dig deeper, Danny and add anything else that makes life feel normal and worthwhile.”
“Making the occasional bet doesn’t affect every aspect of life.”
“It does, darling, and I’d rather have you thinking about that now than when it’s too late. I’ll ask again now before I go—is there anything you’d like me to pick up for you?”
“Just shaving gel, disposable razors … you know the usual toiletries if you don’t mind.”
“Okay.” She pecked me on the lips, and as she walked out of the dining room, I gazed at her long shapely legs. She turned and came back. “Damn, I can’t find my car keys?”
Time to get in her good books, I thought. “I’ll go and look in the bedroom.” I left the dining room and went upstairs, rapidly checking every surface until I heard a shout.
“Got them, Danny … they were in a different coat pocket.”
I watched the car leave the driveway and returned to my laptop feeling relieved that Heather was out of sight and I was excited about the next couple of hours of solitude. I maximised the website I’d been on when Heather had disturbed me.
“Poker Pro,” I murmured, “prepare to boost my bank account.” I logged in and reached across the table for my wallet to enter my credit card details. I flicked through the handful of small sleeves, but the only cards were a couple of business cards for repair services that I kept in case of emergencies. “What the hell have I done with my bank cards?”
I figured a cup of coffee and a minute of concentration would help. When I reached the kitchen, the mystery was solved as I looked at the two distinct plastic cards both cut into four pieces. Laid out where I would find them quickly were my joint current account card and my personal credit card.
In the empty kitchen, I murmured, “Fuck it, Heather, you had no right to do that.”
I went back to my laptop and logged out of Poker Pro because it didn’t allow for practice, it was a ‘gambling only’ site. For a minute, I stared at the screen which once again had the list I’d made to lure Heather into thinking I was taking her seriously about stopping. I realised my list was longer.
“What the fuck?” After cash, car, home and job it now had friends, sex life and wife.
*
After dinner, we were sitting in the living room when the discussion got underway.
“Why did you destroy my bank cards, Heather?”
“Oh, you did notice them … and there was me thinking that you were in denial about them being cut into pieces.”
“Of course, I noticed them, but why did you have to destroy both? I can request another credit card which will take a few days, but I need my other card for the regular, everyday things.”
“Which everyday things, Danny, my love? I buy the groceries, and I pay for the fuel for the car. All the household bills are paid online. You could carry some cash but I’d rather you didn’t have a credit card or a bank card because it’s too dangerous for you.”
“It’s not, and besides, the credit card was for my personal use, it’s not a joint account, like our regular account.”
“Okay, you like cards and making deals don’t you, so if you can show me that you’re regularly paying off your credit card with your own money, I’ll be happy for you to have a new one.”
“How can I prove that?”
“Danny, because we have jobs, a house, a car and there is food on the table it doesn’t mean that we don’t have to maintain control of our finances.” Heather nodded towards an envelope on the coffee table. “Read those and tell me you’re in control and not draining our resources.”
I lifted the envelope but before I saw beyond the logo on the bank statements I knew I’d screwed up—it was our joint account statements. I went through the motions of reading the figures and nodded as if all was okay. “I can get some money back in to build up the balance again.”
“Oh, really … please enlighten me and don’t insult me by talking about a big win?”
I was well and truly fucked and didn’t have a decent argument. “I still need a debit card.”
“No, that is one of the areas where you are wrong, Danny, my love. You don’t need a debit card because I will give you an allowance in cash to cover any minor expenses. The second area in which you are wrong is thinking that you need a credit card. You are a gambler.”
“What if there was something I wanted to buy and it was the only way?”
“I don’t expect any expensive surprise gifts from you, and if I did, you couldn’t afford them because of your habit. That leaves domestic expenses, and as I said, I deal with all of them.”
“Are there any other areas in which I’m wrong?”
“You’re wrong if you think I’ll support you and your habit because I will not. You’re also wrong if you think I’ll lie back in bed and let you maul me and tell me how much you love me when you clearly love gambling more. Finally, for now, you’re wrong if you think your friends will still want you around when they discover you’ve got nothing to offer as a worthwhile stake.”
“I do love you, Heather. Please don’t think I’d put anything before you.”
“Danny, the last time we tried to talk this through you said all the same things, and you even agreed to go to counselling, so how did we get to this point again?”
I stared at the coffee table and the damning bank statements of the past three months.
*
Heather went to bed before me, and when I got upstairs, she was facing away from my side of our big luxury bed, her eyes closed, breathing steady. She was showing me clearly that sex was off the menu.
I went into the ensuite, performed my regular routine and climbed into bed naked as usual. For a moment I considered leaning over to kiss Heather on the cheek or maybe put an arm around her. I didn’t do either of those things because I was wracked with guilt.
For a long time, I lay there awake and with a recurring hard-on which was driving me crazy. Why was it that I could go for a couple of nights without sex when I had my beautiful wife lying beside me, but when sex was denied, I felt an overpowering need?
At one o’clock in the morning, I was still awake, and as my hand wandered down my body, I had an overwhelming desire to give myself a handjob. “Heather,” I whispered. No response. I got out of bed and went to the spare room where I kept my laptop.
Two minutes later, I scrolled down my browsing history and found exactly what would help my situation. My hand gripped my throbbing shaft, and I reached for a tissue with my other hand.
***
Katya Cumming Erotica 