Friday, 5th June 2015
Bearsden
Glasgow
I returned home after a long and enjoyable day at Balloch Country Park on the shores of Loch Lomond. I’d ambled through the woodland, taking pictures of footpaths, shaded areas, clearings, and various photos of the shoreline and the parapet wall. Many of my photographs might prove useless, but I was confident some would work as backgrounds for book covers.
It was four o’clock, so I still had almost two hours before my partner, Sarah, arrived home from work. I was in the enviable position of working from home as a book cover designer, and she was a staff trainer for a fashion store chain. Although based in the city, she regularly travelled around Scotland and often stayed away overnight.
Knowing I’d have plenty of time to prepare dinner, I fixed a coffee to take upstairs to my study. I was stirring a sweetener into my drink when I saw the envelope. Strangely, I hadn’t noticed it beside the microwave when I entered the kitchen. My name was written on the front, which was strange—who else might open it?
“This looks ominous,” I murmured as I opened the envelope, and read the note slowly.
‘Dear Ethan,
I know this is a cowardly way to do this, but I couldn’t face you.
For the past three months, I’ve been seeing someone else. You’ll now know why I’ve recently been too tired for love-making. I’ve felt awful deceiving you because you’ve done nothing wrong.
You’ll see that I returned and packed most of my belongings after you left this morning. I haven’t taken everything, so you can do whatever you like with anything I’ve left behind. You won’t see me around because I’m many miles from Glasgow.
I’m sorry I didn’t deal with this in person.
Sarah’
I sat in the nearest chair and reread the note in disbelief.
“Not again ….”
I put the note on the table and stared at it, feeling numb. I’d ended my army career after fifteen years to marry a young beauty called Kathryn, but she’d walked out after five years and left a brief goodbye note. I’d been devastated and lived alone for a few years before getting into a relationship. Sarah had understood that I didn’t want to marry again, but she was happy to move in with me.
“Three years together … for nothing … ended with a note—again.”
As I sipped my coffee, I wished I had something stronger, but I had no booze in the house. In my army days, long ago, I’d been a heavy drinker, but over the years since leaving military service, I’d gradually reduced my intake. I enjoyed an occasional glass of wine with a meal, whether at home or dining out, but I no longer drank lager or brandy and coke.
I went upstairs to see what Sarah had left behind for me to throw out. When I opened her wardrobe doors expecting to find a couple of items, I was surprised by how much she’d left. On coat hangers were blouses, dresses, and skirts, and on the bottom shelves were a few pairs of shoes. She was either in a hurry to get away or wanted to travel light to her new lover. It all looked in good condition, so I figured it could be donated to a charity shop.
I turned to see that the top of the dresser had hardly changed. To the left was the neat arrangement of makeup. To the right was her jewellery box, which I discovered now contained costume jewellery, including clip-on earrings she’d hardly ever used. I opened the drawers to find bras, panties, tights, stockings and nighties.
“None of this can go to a charity shop, so it’ll have to be thrown out,” I murmured.
I showered and dressed but didn’t feel like cooking, so I walked a mile to the Chinese restaurant in our small town.
*
I had a couple of glasses of wine with my meal, which created a thirst for more alcohol, so on the way home I went into The Blacksmith’s Arms. It was a small pub with cosy booths along one wall. An ideal location to have a few drinks while wallowing in self-pity. I’d had wine earlier, so I opted for brandy and coke. It was a drink I hadn’t had since my army service in Germany many years earlier. After my third, or it might have been my fourth or fifth, I asked for less coke.
“Hi, Ethan,” a friendly voice said.
I turned to see my next-door neighbour’s son. “Hi, Rick.”
“May I join you … unless ….”
“Please do; I’m not waiting for anyone.”
He slid into the booth and placed his pint on the table. “Did you leave Sarah at home tonight?”
“No, she left me, and I don’t just mean for a drink.”
His brow furrowed as he shook his head. “I’m not with you.”
“I was away today at Loch Lomond on a photographic session, casually wandering through woodland, and came back to a farewell note.”
“I’m sorry to hear that … have you had a major fallout?”
“No, but she’s been working away from home a lot over the past few months.” I sipped my drink. “I suspect she’s run off with a colleague she’s become close to.”
“That’s terrible. Are you going to try to find out where she is?”
“No, I’m not chasing after her.” I half-turned and grinned. “She’s only forty, so ten years younger than me, and she’s attractive enough to get herself a good-looking guy.”
“I may only be in my mid-twenties, so I’m not an expert, but you are good-looking.”
“Thank you for that vote of confidence, Rick, but it seems I wasn’t enough for Sarah.”
We sat drinking in companionable silence for a short while.
Rick said, “Do you have much of a social circle?”
“No. I only came in here to drown my sorrows. I haven’t had a social life since I started working from home a few months ago, and I’ve lost touch with the people I worked with in the city.”
“You work in packaging design, don’t you?”
“I did, but now I design book covers for digital and paperback books. I don’t earn a fortune, but I enjoy it, and it keeps me busy.”
“I still work in a big health and fitness centre in Glasgow city centre three days a week, but for two days each week, I’m a self-employed personal trainer.”
“When I was talking to your dad the other day, he said you’d finally be moving out soon.”
“Yes, I’m moving into a flat in the city next month. Being at home since finishing university has saved me a lot of money. I promised I’d be gone when I turned twenty-five.”
“Have you got a girl in your life at the moment?”
“Since my last relationship ended a few months ago, I haven’t been looking to get into anything steady or long-term.”
“That’s a sensible attitude, especially when you’re young enough to do as you please.”
We chatted about relationships for a while, and I bought us another drink. When I sat down again, I noticed that Rick was staring at the table.
“Are you okay, Rick?”
He looked up and smiled. “Yes, I’m sorry, I was miles away for a moment.” He raised his fresh pint to me. “Cheers, Ethan.”
“Cheers,” I said, sipping my brandy and coke, now with even less coke. “Do you want to talk about whatever is on your mind?”
“It’s not a big issue, but discussing relationships brought something to mind.” He sipped more lager. “One of my older clients … erm, Cheryl surprised me, when I visited recently. I took off my tracksuit, ready to start the fitness session, but when she shrugged off her dressing gown, she was naked, except for makeup and nail polish.”
“Does she have a body to be proud of, or was it embarrassing?”
“She has what you’d call a fuller figure, but in more ways than one.” He gulped more lager. “Cheryl is a crossdresser.”
“When did you find out?”
“I had my suspicions the first time I visited to do a session, but she was paying well, so I thought I’d pretend not to notice her voice. Her Adam’s Apple isn’t prominent, and there’s no sign of facial growth, so she’s obviously good at presenting herself as feminine.”
“Did you find it easier to deal with after working with her the first time?”
“Yes, but this week, some of the exercises required me to hold her ankles or to touch her in some other way. She knew that, and when I did touch her, she panted and asked me to move my hands further up her legs.”
“Did you do it, and continue the session?”
“Yes, and she seemed happy that she hadn’t scared me off.”
“Is there something else about the incident troubling you?”
Rick looked down at the table briefly and shook his head. “I pretended not to notice it, but after we’d been exercising a while, she was getting aroused.”
“Right,” I said. “Do you think she was hoping you’d notice?”
“Yes, but I didn’t know how to deal with it because I’ve never been with another guy except … nothing.” He drank more lager.
“Except what?” I whispered.
“Back in my school days, you know, those occasions when you’re young and messing around?”
I nodded. “You had a minor sexual experience with another boy?”
“It was actually a bit more than a minor experience.” He worried his lip briefly. “We went camping together, and we gave each other a handjob on two of the nights.”
“I wouldn’t worry about it. I did something similar when I was about fourteen. I stopped at my best friend’s house for a weekend and wrestled on his bed; we both got excited and started grinding on each other.”
“Did it go any further than grinding?”
I nodded. “When we went to bed that night, we gave each other a handjob. We did it several times over the next few weeks, and then his family moved away because of his dad’s work.”
“Thank you, Ethan. I don’t feel so embarrassed now that you’ve told me about that.”
“I’m pretty sure that most boys and girls are involved in something similar during their school or college days.”
“Do you think it’s the sort of thing that can affect your sexuality later in life?”
“I suppose it depends on how you felt then and when you considered it afterwards.” I sipped my drink. “If you have a same-sex experience when you’re at an impressionable age, it will stay with you. How it affects you depends on your attitudes to sex between two people of the same gender.”
Rick half-turned. “Do you think our attitudes can be affected by sexual frustration, too?”
“Definitely,” I said, nodding. “A while after Kathryn left me, I found myself browsing a lot of porn. I remember telling myself that it was natural.”
“Did you have a good sex life in your marriage?”
“Yes, but the guy she ran off with was rich. Kathryn liked money being spent on her constantly.” I sipped my drink. “I turned to drink for a few months after that and changed my job to stop the questions about my marriage. In my next job, I told people I was single.”
“It must have been a real shock to arrive home today to find Sarah had left you the same way.”
“It was a shock, but I’ve gone through it before, so maybe I’ll adjust more rapidly this time.”
“Well, thanks to you working from home, you won’t have the irritation of people asking insensitive questions.”
I nodded. “I’ve got plenty to occupy me, and I don’t need constant companionship.”
“I know we’re not in the same age group, but if you want to talk, I’m here at about this time for a quiet drink most Friday evenings.”
“I wouldn’t want to mess up your quiet time alone.”
“I don’t really come here to be alone; it’s just to get away from the usual crowd in the bigger, modern pub or club atmosphere. The two of us sitting chatting like this is great.”
“I have to admit, I didn’t expect to have such an enjoyable conversation so thank you.”
“Thank you,” Rick said.
“Now that we’ve made each other feel better, I think this would be a good time for me to head home, or I’ll have far too much of this.” I finished my strong drink.
“I’ll walk back up the road with you if you like.”
“Yes, that would be good.”
We wandered back to our end of the tree-lined street and paused where our driveways met.
I said, “Thank you for brightening up what might have been a miserable evening, Rick.”
“And thank you for opening up to me.” He paused with his hand on the gate. “Remember, I’ll be in there next week if you fancy a drink and a chat.”
“I might just do that. Goodnight.”
When I undressed for bed a while later I caught my reflection in the large wardrobe mirror.
“I wonder if my physique is as good as Rick’s naughty client’s body.”
***
Katya Cumming Erotica 