Chapter 1 – A Wake-up Call

Friday 1st May

Following the devastating news at the clinic, we tried socialising normally and had friends to dinner occasionally, but one area of our lives was suffering badly. Four weeks had passed, and Rita had lost interest in sex completely. The consultant had said that we must be aware that our new situation might affect either one, or both of us psychologically.

I felt that I’d accepted things and moved on, but it seemed that Rita was having problems. Apart from a goodnight kiss and holding her when she sobbed, I had to learn to do without sex for a while. We didn’t have a discussion about our lack of intimacy, it was just there, the elephant in the room … neither of us brought up the topic.

Rita walked in from the kitchen. “Adrian, we’ve got Kenny joining us for dinner in about an hour, and you’ve only got a few beers in the fridge.”

“What we’ve got is fine, love. He’ll have a couple of beers and I’ll drink brandy and coke.”

 “I haven’t had a drink for a while, so I think I’ll have wine.”

I stood and embraced her, nuzzling her ear. “Kenny’s not only my friend, you know. He likes to think he’s your friend too.”

“We both know why he likes to think I’m his friend.”

“What do you mean?” I smiled, knowingly.

“Since you introduced us last year, every time we meet he looks at me in the strangest way.”

“He told you right away that he thought you were gorgeous, and to be fair to him, he has said that he’ll wait patiently for the day that you leave me.” I smiled.

Rita laughed briefly. “Kenny is a handsome guy, but if he’s waiting for us to split up, he’ll have to be extra patient.”

I kissed her softly on the lips. “On the bright side, for tonight, he’ll have a different attitude to the couples that we know.”

“Yes, I suppose that being single he won’t see our news the way that others do.” She studied my features. “I know that you’ve accepted our test results, and I haven’t, so maybe Kenny’s company will help lighten my mood, eh?”

“I hope it does because I’d love us to get back to normal.”

“What you mean is, that you’d like to resume our sex life.” She pecked me on the lips. “I’m sorry that I’ve been unfair to you, but I will come around in time.”

I smiled. “In the meantime, get into that kitchen and produce one of your culinary delights.”

*

Kenny arrived right on time and after saying how sorry he was to hear our news, he left the topic alone, just as I hoped he would. Of course, I’d prompted him with a text message earlier.

We all enjoyed wine with our meal and thanks mainly to Kenny, our conversation was light-hearted. At Rita’s suggestion, she cleared the dining table and organised the dishwasher while I went through to sit in the living room to have a few drinks with our guest.

In Rita’s absence, Kenny was back to his favourite topics. He reminded me that his girlfriend had finished with him and moved on a few weeks earlier and how he was finding it hard to deal with the lack of a sexual partner.

I suggested that he went on the internet and tried a dating site, but he laughed and said the only thing he checked out on the internet were porn sites.

I said, “They’re not a substitute for the real thing though, are they?”

“No, they’re not,” Kenny said. “Sometimes it’s still nice to use a bit of voyeurism to help me deal with my frustration.” He laughed, because we’d known each other for years and he was always open about the need for masturbation to retain his sanity when he was without a lover.

I nodded and smiled. I wasn’t prepared to admit that I might have a beautiful wife, but in recent times I’d mainly depended on a secret addiction to help me get off. Every time I tried to steer the subject away from sex, Kenny brought it back in again, so I was glad that Rita was out of the room.

When Rita was happy that everything was tidy in the dining room and kitchen, she joined us and had a glass of wine. It was only from that point that our conversation became normal again, and Rita was amused at some of the things Kenny said. At one point, when he complimented her appearance, she laughed, and told him to calm down, and find another girlfriend quickly.

We all laughed, and our conversation picked up again.

I wondered at first if it were only my imagination, but a short while later, there was a moment when Kenny was gazing at Rita. She turned and caught him, gave a weak smile and he turned away to pick up his drink, probably embarrassed. Neither of them said anything, and nor did they realise I’d witnessed the silent interaction. 

Just before ten, Kenny got up to leave. He winked at Rita. “Remember, Rita, when you’ve had enough of this guy, I’ll be waiting for you.” He laughed. “Thank you for a lovely meal, and a pleasant night.”

“I’ll keep you in mind in case Adrian ever gets boring. Goodnight, Kenny,” Rita laughed.

I said, “Now, go home to your lonely bed. Goodnight.”

He was still laughing as he walked down the driveway to his taxi.

After our guest had gone, we sat with our drinks looking across the living room at each other.

Rita arched an eyebrow. “Are you thinking about what Kenny said?”

I smiled. “I’m trying to convince myself that you were both joking.”

“Adrian, could I use your computer to check a couple of things while you watch the late news?”

“Yes, of course. Is there something wrong with your laptop?”

“Yes, there’s a memory issue. It’s running the programmes slow, and there are a couple of things I want to investigate online tonight.”

“My machine is on sleep mode.”

“How do I wake it up?”

“Hit any key and it will become active.” I forgot that she kept things simple on her laptop.

“Thank you.” She raised an eyebrow. “I’ll take my drink up to your study and I promise not to spill any on your computer.” She laughed as she left the room.

Hearing her a little happier made me feel better, even if she’d just been acting very strange. I watched without much interest as forest fires were shown in Australia, followed by a riot in a Middle East country. Nothing was really capturing my interest until the report of a recent murder inquiry down in London. At the bottom of the screen it said that the man on camera was a detective.

“I’m pleased to report that the suspect we have in custody failed to erase the browsing history on his computer, and that alone has given us enough evidence to charge him ….”

The rest of his statement faded as my thoughts were cast back to the last time I was on my computer upstairs. Yes, I’d been working on documents, but I’d also been surfing a few favourite websites. I couldn’t remember clearing my searches. After all, it was usually only me who used that machine.

“Oh fuck,” I whispered. “I hope Rita doesn’t look at my browsing history.”

The news had ended and the weather report was on when Rita returned to the living room. I was quiet and pretended to be engrossed in the programme while I waited for her to speak. The weather report ended and I switched off the television to leave us silently facing each other across the room.

“Are you okay, Adrian, you look like you have something on your mind?”

“Actually, I do, but I’m not sure that this is the right time. I wouldn’t like to spoil our evening.”

“Thanks to you and Kenny, you’ve got me in a good mood, so please, tell me.”

“Rita, try as I might, I’m finding celibacy challenging to say the least.” I paused, and when I met her gaze, she nodded for me to continue. “I’m trying to come to terms with our situation, and I know you are too, but I think we have to move on.”

“I know, and I understand.”

“We both know that starting a family isn’t going to happen for us, but I don’t think we should deprive ourselves of simple pleasures.”

“By pleasures, you mean sex, don’t you?”

“Rita, we haven’t made love for weeks.”

“I suppose you’re right,” she said, and raised an eyebrow. “We’re unable to produce offspring, but I ought to be like you and accept it. We should still enjoy the pleasure of a sex life, eh?”

“I’m glad you can see what I mean. I thought we could—”

“Stop, and let me guess.” She raised both eyebrows. “You thought we could invite someone to join us?”

“What? What are you talking about?” I was mystified. “I wasn’t going to say that.”

“Recently, I realised that I was so wrapped up in self-pity that I was letting you down in bed. Earlier this evening, I decided that I ought to make an effort because I felt guilty.”

“I can’t remember us discussing our sex life since we last saw Dr Walker.”

“We haven’t but something I overheard this evening got me thinking about things I’ve read.”

I was confused. “Something you overheard … and things you’ve read? I don’t understand.”

“You’re always telling me that I’m attractive, but I recognised that I’ve never been the most exciting lover. I’ve read a few articles on how to put the spark back into a love life. I intended to surprise you later by wearing sexy lingerie, but now I’m not sure if that would be enough.”

“I’m still not following you.”

“When I left you two to chat while I cleared up. I didn’t intend to eavesdrop, but it was difficult to ignore your conversation. While I was in the dining room, I heard Kenny talking about sex so I listened closely. Apart from talking about his fantasies, he said he’d be happy to step in if you needed help to satisfy me.”

“Oh, Rita, you know what he’s like. He’s always bringing sex into the conversation. I’m sorry you overheard that—”

She held up a hand. “I thought he was being insensitive, but what he said next assured me that he wasn’t being insensitive or humorous.”

I slowly shook my head. “Why … what did he say next?” I felt my cheeks going red because I clearly remembered what he’d said.

Rita smiled briefly. “Thanks to the alcohol, you two must have thought that you were whispering. I moved close to the living room door to hear better. Kenny said that if ever I asked for a second man in our bed, he wanted to be considered.”

“Kenny is always joking about how lucky I am to have you. That was his idea of a compliment while you weren’t in the room.” I knew he had been serious, and my face was beaming.

“Well, my darling, if he was joking, you gave him a funny response.”

“Really? I can’t remember what I said.” Again I knew exactly what I’d said.

She held my gaze. “You said that if I did want extra, you’d be okay with it, as long as I was satisfied, and you could watch.”

“No, no, what I meant—”

Rita smiled. “What’s wrong, Adrian, are you worried that I might enjoy an extra cock?”

“Rita, I don’t think we should continue with this.”

“I thought you were the adventurous one. When I overheard that you’d be okay watching me with your friend, I wondered if I was ready for intimacy to resume.”

“I wasn’t serious, and I’m really sorry, Rita. I just miss our love life so much.”

She slowly shook her head. “No, Adrian, you miss sex … the physical act?”

“I must have been humouring Kenny. You know that he’s crazy about you, and jealous that I’m married to you.”

“Be honest. Would you get turned on watching me with Kenny, or another man?”

I felt my face warming. “Rita—”

“Imagine it, Adrian. You could be sitting in the armchair in our bedroom naked, while Kenny is pushing his face between my thighs, licking me in preparation.”

“Please, don’t carry on love.”

“Do you think Kenny would prefer to stick his cock in my mouth and make me swallow his cum, or would he rather fuck me and fill my pussy?”

“That’s enough, Rita—let’s stop this nonsense now.”

“If you want me to stop, show me your cock.”

“Now you’re being silly.”

“I mean it, Adrian. Drop your trousers, right now.”

My lips parted, and as I shook my head, I self-consciously reached down with one hand.

“Too late, darling.” She grinned. “The bulge appeared in your jeans when I first mentioned what Kenny had said. The more I went on about me with two men, the bigger your erection got.”

“Okay, okay, I was getting aroused, but only because you were talking dirty.”

“I know that was out of character for me.” She smiled briefly. “What if I said I’d be willing?”

“Willing to do what?” I narrowed my eyes; confused.

“I could give Kenny, or another man a handjob, or a blowjob. Maybe I could let a man fuck me before or after you. Perhaps if I loosened up regarding sex, I might enjoy two cocks.”

“Stop, Rita, please. Don’t carry on with this.”

“After I’d heard you two discussing sexual fantasies, I tried to imagine it, and I thought I’d find it disgusting, but strangely, I didn’t. After all, you’ve always made it clear that we ought to be a bit more experimental in bed.”

“I’d just like us to try new things together. You know, maybe sex toys, but we could start with anything you wanted. We could take one small step at a time.”

“Perhaps hearing your earlier conversation has been a sort of trigger, you know, to bring me out of my state of self-pity.”

“I’d be happy for both of us if we’ve accidentally done that for you.”

She nodded. “I’ll investigate what we could try, and I promise, I’ll consider new things, and how far I’d be prepared to go.”

We fell silent again, and I poured another brandy and coke. I’d become so accustomed to not having a sex life, I was looking forward to Rita falling asleep in bed so that I could have a handjob.

*

I stood naked in the en-suite, brushing my teeth, and thinking about the woman I’d married three years earlier. Rita had been full of fun, and though not adventurous or vocal in bed, she encouraged me with her soft moans and sighs. We both learned each other’s favourite positions, and what we enjoyed. There was a mutual regard for ensuring pleasure. Oral sex was a joy for us both.

Our sex life had remained healthy, if not exciting, right up until the news that we’d never be parents to our own children. It affected Rita psychologically, and she lost interest in our love life. I wanted to support her, so I didn’t push the sex topic, or more accurately, the lack of it. I also didn’t force myself on her, and then the days became weeks, and I drifted back to an old pastime.

Whenever I was alone in the house, I’d surf the internet for porn, and the relief I gave myself while watching porn became the new normal for me. Sometimes I had such an intense orgasm it made me think that it was better than sex. That would be the case until I saw Rita in a sexy outfit, except that she wasn’t thinking of her clothes or makeup as sexy, she just looked great in everything.

After Kenny had opened up about his attraction to Rita, I couldn’t help thinking that my bout of celibacy would all be worth it when my sex life got underway again. It couldn’t happen too soon. Strangely, Kenny’s admission about supporting me in bed with Rita might have been fun, but when it came back to mind I got aroused.

I preferred to sleep naked, but I had gotten into the habit of wearing pyjamas. It was frustrating for me to be naked and snuggle up to Rita’s warm body in her silk pyjamas. I’d get a raging hard-on which kept me awake, and she would turn away from me, which didn’t help because after she’d fallen asleep I’d embrace her from behind, and my dick would be hard again. Sometimes she’d wear a nightie but on those nights I stole a cheap thrill as she slept.

As usual, our window blind was partially open so the moonlight offered a dim glow. I climbed into bed to find Rita facing the other way, so I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.  She was wearing a nightie.

“Good night,” I whispered, but got no response. “Good night, Rita,” I said a little louder.

I lay there for a while listening to her breathing, and to check her alertness, I placed a hand on her waist, sliding it over the delicate fabric of her nightie. When she didn’t say anything, I moved my hand down. The frilly hem had ridden most of the way up her sumptuous thigh and I placed my hand on her leg, but still no response.

My cock was throbbing, so I loosened the cord on my pyjamas and parted the front ready to pleasure myself. I pushed the duvet down, lay half on my back and reached out to lift Rita’s nightie and slightly part her lovely buttocks. I sucked on my left forefinger before stretching my arm to slowly caress Rita’s hot anus. As I probed to insert my fingertip, she lifted her right leg forward, bending it at the knee, and the movement parted her buttocks more.

“Oh, fuck, yes,” I gasped and eased my fingertip inside her. In my imagination I’d be having anal sex with her. When I was in up to the first knuckle with my left forefinger, my right hand was free to attend to my tumescent cock. The tip was wet as I took a loose grip and slowly gave myself a pleasant fist-fucking.

My strokes were speeding up before I remembered to grab my secret weapon. I stopped pulling my cock briefly while I slipped the white sports sock from under my pillow. I was already panting, and trying to keep the noise down when I slipped the sock over my swollen cock and fucked my fist again. As I speeded up I eased my left forefinger deeper into Rita’s hole and felt the heat.

“Mmm … mmm.” I bit my lip as I stroked my cock and simultaneously eased my forefinger in and out of hot anal flesh. “Yes … yes … oh fuck, yes … thank you, Rita.” I had to hold my breath to stop me panting when I shot my load inside the sock, and when I finished, as always, I felt guilty and embarrassed.

I slipped my finger out of Rita’s hole slowly and carefully, and after removing the sock from my softening dick I wiped my hands on the white material and put the sock under my pillow again until morning. I pulled Rita’s nightie down over her buttocks, loosely tied the cord of my pyjamas and pulled up the duvet. I was probably asleep within minutes, but at least I would sleep.

***